Michael Karikas
 
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MY BALROG
09/05/2004 + 16:15

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That's not my urine
Tunes Something by Notwist

Scratch that last blog entry, something actually happened to me just now. Some background:

About a month ago I bought a bed from somebody off of CraigsList, who was moving to Belarus (pretty sweet deal). I wanted it earlier than she was willing to let it go, so I let her borrow my air mattress, with the promise that the day before she left town I could meet her and pick it up.

Well, we couldn't get a hold of each other before she left. Today I finally decided to swing by her place and see if she had left it with somebody there. It was there alright, right on the porch. 'Sweet,' I said to myself, 'it's actually here and I'm not out $50.'

I picked it up and was a little surprised that it was wet. 'Weird,' I tells me, 'it hasn't rained in a few days. Whatever'.

I soon discovered via color and smell cues that it was in fact URINE and not water on my air mattress. Urine! Piss! Pee! Somebody else's internal waste fluids! Uggggh! I just kinda stood there in shock for a moment, placed the stuff on the side of their walkway, and ran in disgust back to the car I'm borrowing (ssh, don't tell Andrea!).

To make things a little more gross, when I first picked up the mattress most of the urine water-slided down onto my left foot. I was wearing flip-flops today, a blessing in disguise, because I found it much easier to wash, disinfect, and scrub my foot and left flip flop than it probably would've been to wash an entire shoe. It was a very troubling ride home, as this mystery person (or thing?)'s used apple juice stuck between the bottom of my foot and the top of my flip flop.

That's enough, I'm done talking about it. If anybody wants a urine-soaked air mattress, head on over to 5207 17th Ave NE.
****************************************
And then you said:
Garhan, 9-6-2004 with $14.30
Ahh, balrogs and urine ... ... hmm, I forgot what I was going to say!
Jason, 9-5-2004 with $16.29
Dude. ....dude....uh uh.



because 'blog' is so cliché and balrog has better special moves