I can't sleep. Here's what I'm thinking about:

Work. Oh please, anything, make it stop...

I think it'd be really great to have a new TV show starring Martin Short and Martin Sheen. Y'know, throw Martin Lawrence in there, too. It'd be a new comedy on a network station, but it'd be a three-way funny buddy roomate comedy! They all live together in a city apartment. It's a one bedroom, but two live in the bedroom and one lives in the living room. Imagine when Martin tries to bring home a girl - hoo boy, what happens when Martin and Martin come home???

One Martin can never hold a job (but he's always looking!). One is a wannabe cassanova who is remeniscent of Steve (or Doug) Butabi. The oldest Martin (Sheen) tries to hold the whole group together with his steady job as a marketing director for a well-known firm, but his zany and out of character antics are what bring in the laughs (like the time he tried to rap, or the time he learned how to skateboard, and especially that time at the Christmas party when his pants fell off and he was like "Hello ladies! Which of you saucy minxes wants to be Startin' the Martin?") He just can't shake that wild lifestyle he proudly held 30-40 years ago... but now he's old! Ha!

The show can be called "Martin!" or "Too Many Martins!" or "Arr, We Be Martins!". They will all drink martinis, and during sweeps they will have guest stars, such as Steve Martin and the ghost of Dean Martin.

Can people poop-upside down? I dare you to find out.

Jason had quite possibly the greatest idea of all time today - get a tattoo like the Transformers stats panels! When you held up a red piece of plastic to your arm/back/shoulder/whatHaveYou, you could tell the stats of... yourself!

What in blue blazes ever happened to Martin Short?

Last night I rode the bus back from downtown pretty late. This is a small snippet of a conversation between two men on this bus. The first guy was obviously a performer of metal music - you can just tell (and, it turns out, he was talking about his metal band on-bus!). The second guy loved to abuse some sort of substance, and could really benefit from a shower.

Metal: So, where you from, bro?
Stinky: Seattle.
Metal: Oh, that's right. What part?
Stinky: The C.D. Central District.
Metal: Oh yeah? A couple years ago I used to live in a house with a couple people up on 23rd and Cherry.
Stinky: No shit? I used to live up at 32nd and Cherry! Hey, so what do you think of the Ethiopians?
Metal: ...what?
Stinky: You know, all the Ethiopians up there. What do you think of them?
Metal: (brief pause) Well, I've studied their ancient history. Do you know what theology is?
Stinky: No...
Metal: I studied theology in school. So, I took a lot of history classes for that. I've studied all sorts of history - the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, Jews, Aramaic...

Unfortunately, I had to get off of the bus there. I would love to know how that conversation played out.

Google video continues to entertain.

Hey lookie! Here's my almost-a-pirate pumpkin from this year (thanks to Alice for her assistance in this endeavour):