The time: 7:17am.
The place: Somewhere above southern Washington, climbing to 33,000 feet.

I'm on a plane! A plane! And I'm flying to California! Words cannot describe the absolute rush of relief that came over my body when this plane took off. I've got 11 days to enjoy myself, see my family, and most importantly, think about anything but work (although I do have a couple emails to write, but that's not too bad). Oh, this is lovely. I've really been needing this for a while.

I've just been informed that the male flight attendant on this flight (Arthur, employee since 1975) is none other than the cofounder of the of the Jones Barbeque mini-chain of restaurants in Seattle! He and his brother run it and invented the sauce together, which the other stewardess claims is the best BBQ sauce on the planet. Why does he work as a flight attendant when he could be doing his four restaurants full time? For the health insurance! Ain't that crazy? He can't afford to pay his own for his family when self-employed, that's so uncool. You hear that government, do ya?

I've been seriously ignoring my balrogging responsibilities, so let's see what's been happening. Umm... I bought an iBook, kind of on a whim, but I swear it was planned. You see, I have a laptop and an iMac at home. The problem is that my laptop is at the end of its life, and my ancient iMac is much too slow to reasonably run OS X. Since I really only use the iMac for testing websites in Safari, I feel it was in my best interests to purchase a Mac laptop to conserve space. Also, I needed a laptop to replace my aging Dell... the solution? This guy. I call it iMike, although I think that's kind of silly, and makes me feel like I'm property of Apple. I would call it Mike Jr., but that's what I called my Dell, and the same name twice is like sacrilege.

I had to buy it before this trip to L.A. because my master plan is to make a movie with my nieces while I'm down here. My Dell, in addition to being slow and only having 90% of its keys work, doesn't have a connector for my camera. This iBook sure does - problem solved. I tried to buy it off of coworker Scott, but his iBook committed seppuku, so I got one off of CraigsList in under 24 hours total time. On Sunday! I thought that was rad - Craig, you never cease to amaze me.

The biggest problem I've found so far is that Apple decided some keys should not be convenient at all. Oy, it's annoying. Home/End/Page Up/Page Down/Delete? Sorry, gotta press the Function button for those. There are, however two Enter keys. Arrrr! Aside from these things I've been well pleased... will I become a convert? We'll see. I never thought this day would come, but how can I stay away from a computer that's so damn sexy?

Speaking of Arr and piratical behavior - the aforementioned Scott informed me of a pirate bar right here (there) in Seattle - The Maritime! Pirate bar! Pirate theme! Unbelievable. I may go straight there from the airport when I return home.

I saw some fantastic theatre w/ Andrea (et al) last weekend - The Awakening, by Kate Chopin. It was very good, it made me remember why I like good theatre. Very empowering for the ladies, and even the boys got to enjoy it.

This week I made good on my personal promise and bought a Laserpod - it is sooooo cool, but only in complete darkness. I had it shipped to work, so I busted it out there... not a single person was impressed, as the display wasn't very impressive due to ambient light. They will never understand. They don't love you like I love you.

Having this Laserpod in my life has been odd - I have a bit of a phobia about lasers, and I'm still fairly paranoid whenever this thing is on... but I'm working on it. I think if I follow Jason's lead and purchase the amazing Logitech laser mouse I'll be completely immersed in laser culture, and will have to break free from the shackles of my crazy phobia.

Speaking of that crezzy Jason, he was so kind as to allow me temporary ownership of a new book he received fromMcSweeny's: English as She is Spoke. It's a reprinting of a book written in 1855 by a Portuguese man as a Portuguese -> English phrasebook. The problem is that he didn't know English... but he knew some French! So, all the translations in this book are from Portuguese -> French -> English. Heeeee-larious! Some favorites I've encountered so far:

(Under Fishes and Shell-fishes):
Ouriço-dô-már.
Hedge hog.

Esse bósque estea chêio dê ladrões.
This wood is fill of thief's.

Dái-me ôu dê-me obrêias.
Give me any wafer.

Este ôculo ôu lunêta não présta.
This spy-glass is good for nothing.

Élla affécta virtúde ôu gravidáde.
She make the prude.

Cuspío-me nô vestído.
He has spit in my coat.

Elle requébra tôdas âs mulhéres.
He caresses all women.

Eu fazía-o pâra rír.
I was made for to laugh,

Moer-vos-hêi ôu moêl-o-hêi ás pancádas.
I should kill-you to the blows with a stick.

Não pósso descalçár âs bôtas.
I cannot take off my boots.

Tomái ôu tóáme êste rapáz ê açoitái-o ôu açôite-o múito bêm.
Take that boy and whip him to much.

Not only is the English bad, this guy had to be smoking some serious 19th century crack equivalent to come up with these common phrases. I can't tell you how often I've had to say 'This spy-glass is good for nothing' while traveling abroad.

Panda is verifiably moving to Seattle in August! I already miss Alice. I can't wait to see those long-haired monkeys I call nieces. Tomorrow I may sleep until 8:00pm. I cannot wait to move out of my apartment. This paragraph is just me, me, me.

Isn't it funny when people take pictures? It's like saying, "I would like to capture an image of these people I know, while they are completely frozen and smiling, while looking straight ahead." I don't know why that is but I'm just as guilty.