I am finding out right now, LIVE!, that Chef Boyardee does not make an especially delicious chicken alfredo.

My apologies - busy week. Let's do a week in review!

Last Saturday was my friend Sara's surprise birthday party. Good times as usual. As we were all waiting for her to arrive in the dark, in absolute silence, I casually whispered to everybody 'What's a pirate's favorite band?' *muffled snickers* 'Gwarrrrrrrr!!' *more snickering, almost unmufflable, nearly blowing our cover* I thought that was pretty damn funny.

Afterwards we went out to Neighbours, her favorite gay club, where I was hit on within ten seconds of going through the door by some well-dressed mister. That's only ten Mississippis! Don't get me wrong - I'm very flattered that I get hit on at the gay bar. It's just not my thing. I always feel like a traitor when I'm there too - 'Ha ha, you thought I was gay!' they must think I think to myself.

Later that night I crashed at Sara's and watched her dollar store copy of Gumby's Greatest Hits. I don't remember Gumby being so freakin' surreal! Its entire production must've been drug-induced. My favorite line? "On Saturdays Gumby uses toy robots to do his household chores." Little did Gumby know that the robots would get completely out of control! Gufawfawfawfaw.

Hoo boy, and let me tell you about Wednesday! I am indeed a fan of America's Next Top Model, and that night was the final night. Sara, Morgan and I were actually holding hands as the competition was first cut down to two contestants, and then the right choice - Naima. I'm pretty pleased they picked her, as I've been rooting for her since the beginning, and they never pick the one I like. On this topic, ex-roomie and aspiring model Kat has an open letter to Tyra Banks.

I'd like to mention that I didn't pick ANTM as a show to follow - it picked me. It's very much like being a man of the cloth.

This past Saturday I saw Star-Wars-Episode-Three-Revenge-Of-The-Sith-By-George-Lucas with Alice. Damn, that was good. Yoda, wookies, action, betrayal. It was dark, but fantastic - I will gladly see it again, which is more than I can say for the previous two.

SIFF is here! I intend to go see as much as I can with good buddy Andrea, but I fear I'm only going to be able to see a few, which was the case last year. Andrea gave me a personality test last night, apparently I was either a INTJ or INFJ. I always liked to think I was a TMNT. Either way, you can do a similar test somewhere like here. Both the test and the explanations above are different than what I took yesterday. Hey, when did eMode.com become Tickle.com?

Earlier this week Jason and I took a stroll down to Borders, where I picked up The Life Aquatic and a Pirate Book! As webmaster of Pir8Jokes.com, I feel it is my duty as captain of that virtual ship. It's such an entertaining book, I love it. I laugh every time I read it. There's a lot of laughing that goes on. The word 'piratical' is used so much! I need to use that word more. Great puns, even a pirate joke in there. I really need to add some of these over at Pirate Jokes central, it's way overdue for an update.

I had a dream about clowns the other night - I won't go into it right now, but I woke up really disturbed, realizing 'Whoa, I just had a dream about clowns. That cannot be fine.' It really kind of bothered me. I'm down with the Circus, but clowns? In a dream? Eeeeh!